man no be god

5 June 2005

Friends and Family:

Today I spam you after a short trip to the charming town of Takoradi, a coastal metropolis in Western Ghana. Ostensibly, we were there for a five-day workshop sponsored by Peace Corps on how to improve our efficacy as health educators. Really though its more like a high school reunion as I have not seen many fellow volunteers since November. An orgy of gossip quickly ensues at these kind of functions as we find out who’s dating who, who suffered the most insidious illness, who lost/gained the most weight and so on.

I’m thinking of formulating a new West African weight loss plan. Sadly, it only seems to apply to men (sorry ladies). All the guys in our Water and Sanitation sector have lost weight. My buddy Nick looks great after losing 30 lbs. I too have dropped 10 lbs since January so thankfully I am no longer as morbidly obese as I was when I arrived. Calorie rich foods like meat and dairy are hard to come by in Agou. My diet consists mostly of what local farmers grow: starchy foods like cassava, corn, bread, and yams.

For all you Dr. Atkins disciples who blame weight gain on sinister carbohydrates, I say come to rural West Africa. The people of Agou fie live on carbs and they are some of the fittest people I’ve ever met (albeit many of the children are malnourished). Admittedly, they also live a much more active lifestyle than most Americans since sedentary luxuries like TV and automobiles are certainly not as commonplace.

Good news on the Guinea worm front: only one case in my community of 985 so far this year. Indeed, all of Nkwanta district has seen a dramatic reduction of Guinea worm cases in 2005. Last year in the month of January alone, Nkwanata district reported over 500 cases. This year only 26. Soon there will be fewer children suffering Guinea worm than sleeping in Michael Jackson’s bed.

No, Ghana has more serious problems than Guinea worm. According to the Nkwanta Director of Health, Ghana has one of the highest maternal delivery death rates in the world. Dr. Awooner claims six out of every 100 live births results in either the death of the infant, the mother, or both. I believe him. Just last week a woman in Agou who I had been helping apply to be a teacher lost her baby during delivery. Back in February a friend in nearby Potripor named Baba suffered the loss of both his step-mom and her unborn baby when a home birth went bad.

Fortunately, the Ghana government is doing something about it. Starting May 1st, all infant deliveries will be free of charge. The government hopes that removing the economic barrier to lifesaving hospital services will ameliorate this tragedy. The room of Assembly members burst into applause when the doctor announced this new policy.

The dispute between our elected Assembly member, Yahesu Raphael, and nine chiefs was resolved last month. As I said back in January, Raphael faced 11 charges of corruption and misuse of power by Nana Lucas of Agou fie and eight other local chiefs. Both parties agreed to avoid a costly court drama and allow the paramount chief of the Challa people, Nana Addo, to arbitrate the case. Nana Addo invited four neutral friends to help (I’m proud to say I stepped in when the Muslim man went to pray). He listened to both sides, allowed questions and testimonies from the audience, then deliberated in privacy with the four panelists and me over cold beer. We unanimously decided Raphael was guilty of all but two of the charges, which could not be determined on the amount of evidence presented.

The only matter of debate was restitution. Nana Addo felt that 2 rams, 2 bottles of Schnapps, and 1.2 million cedis was just. My favorite part is that he awarded himself 4 bottles of Schnapps and 6 beers for arbitrating the case. It was definitely an ‘only in Africa’ moment.

Before this puppy gets too big I present to you my latest top 10. A peculiar sight in Ghana that most newcomers comment on is the plethora of religious/funny/nonsensical storefront slogans. You see a lot of “God is Great,” “Jesus is Lord,” “Peace and Love” on chemical stores, barber salons , and drinking spots. Just about every taxi and passenger bus has a phrase or saying on it as well, like the one I usually take from Nkwanta to Agou, “the Lord.” The only place I’ve ever seen this practice in America is at a lake/ocean marina, where boat owners love to name their boat. Dad, have you inscribed “The cat’s meow” on ours yet? So here it is:

Top 10 Ghanaian storefront slogans

10. Don’t mind your wife chop bar (Kabiti restaurant)
9. Sweet Jesus Communications (Techiman)
8. No Hurry in Life spare parts (Nkwanta repair shop)
7. Thy will be done barbering salon (Cape Coast)
6. 1+1=3. Why? Provision store (Nkwanta)
5. still Expensive Jack & Tire Service (Ho town)
4. Uncle Bob I have a chance! (back of bus in Accra)
3. Kill Me (front of lg. cargo truck in Techiman)
2. No weapon fighting against me (you would understand why if you saw this public toilet in Accra)
1. Man No Be God Tourists’ Bar (Nkwanta)

I want to thank everyone who replied to my last correspondence. You have no idea how much it boosts my morale to hear from you.

Also, I want to inform you of my fledgling attempt to post these emails on the web at: www.ghanawormguy.blogspot.com

More posts to come, I promise.
-Kris

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"I do believe that where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence." --Mahatma Gandhi